Small decisions

Today I know I am old. I woke up at 5:30 this morning, sure I had overslept my 7:00 alarm time. Alas,it was too late and I was up. It was hot at soccer camp and I found myself envious of all the younger and thinner helpers who moved so easily and freely. I felt slow and leaden and tomorrow is just supposed to be hotter. Small decisions, made over time, have left me quite out of shape. I could have made different small decisions over time and been much healthier today but alas did not. While I do not have oodles of time like I did when I was younger I can still make better decisions with the time I have left. So it was salad tonight, a beginning of healthier decisions hopefully. There is also a spiritual analogy to this which I am sure you can all guess. We make decisions every day, small ones but still important. Most of those decisions are very small but if we look at them closely they tell us which place we put our God in our lives. My Pastor does not come to work without reading his Bible. That tells me what place God has in his life and gives me confidence in him. I never go to sleep at night without doing the same and rarely leave the house in the morning without doing so. I try to visit the prayer room at least five days each week. I call it my sanctuary for there are no interruptions in that place when I seek the Lord. I need God's direction. How can I know His instructions and will without reading His word? How can I develop wisdom without spending time reading His wisdom and knowing Him who is wisdom? My life is His. I must have His direction, I need it and I will fall without it. I put that boldly because it is true. Some merely fall to the point they are useless and some are taken out completely but without God we fall. Small decisions, made over time, make all the difference in the world. What decisions are you making? What choices are you making by default that could derail your life? The good news is that each day is fresh and we are able to make corrections to our course. It is a good idea to periodically assess those decisions that we are making and do what is needed. I know that I am going to pick up and try again.

Spit Out

Christians follow Christ. Seems like a simple enough statement, but it is not an easy statement. The idea of a person calling themselves a Christian and not devoting themselves to Christ may seem ridiculous on the surface but in practice the church is full of the half commited. In Revelation 3:15-18 tells the tale of the lukewarm believer and what their end will be. The passage tells how Christ will spit them from his mouth. I recently read a book that shed light on that word for spit. It is a Greek word used only once in scripture and connotes gagging, hurling, and retching. The scary part is that many believe that this scripture talks about Christians but I can't believe it does because of what the rest of the scripture says. It tells the lukewarm one to "buy from me gold refined in the fire so ou can become rich: and white clothes to wear so you can cover your nakedness." If this passage were talking about believers they would already be dressed in white, they would not be "wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, or naked," because they would be clothed in the righteousness of Christ. Please don't believe that a person can be a "lukewarm believer." God asks for our lives, all of our lives. We dare not hold anything back. And why would we want to? He is good and gracious. He has saved us and called us with a holy calling. Luke 14:33 says that "Anyone who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." There is no rationalizing around that scripture, no softening it. The good news is that there is no better life than giving up ours for the one He gives! No better life! None! We are called to be His disciples and to live for His glory, the glory of the everpresent, all powerful, creator God who loves us and desires our best, not to waver on the fence, come to the end of our lives and have nothing to give our King.

Restore and Rebuild

I have been reading in the book of Ezra this week and I must confess it is not usually a favorite stop on my journey through scripture. Today I was struck by how Ezra wanted to "repair the walls" and "restore the foundations" of the temple. I started thinking about how often men get off track, how they lose their foundation and find themselves with broken walls and in need of repair. I thought about how difficult it is to stand with a brother whose very foundation is broken, even if that brother wants desperately to be restored and rebuilt. Our foundation as believers is crucial. It is hard to rebuild once broken. Ezra and Nehemiah faced intense opposition as they endeavored to rebuild the walls. It was like a battle. Guards were posted to fight the enemy next to others who did the building. It would have been far easier for the walls to not need repair in the first place. You see, the walls of Jerusalem were broken because of the Children of Israel's disobedience that led to ruin. If the Children of Israel had obeyed they would not have been taken into captivity and would not have needed restoration and rebuilding. That is true in the lives of many believers who are taken captive. God can and does restore but it is not easy. A broken believer loses so much. Trust is eroded. Relationships are affected and those left in the wake can struggle to make sense of it. There is a desire to rebuild that which was broken but it is hard to regain that same place that had been. The picture is not all bleak though. God is the ultimate restorer. Ezra and Nehemiah overcame all opposition and the building was completed. Much like that work is the work God and the body of Christ do in the life of the believer. When other believers come alongside and speak belief and faith against all opposition that comes there is restoration. When the body of Christ lift each other up and refuse to admit defeat, calling upon God, then walls can be rebuilt. When we let patience have her perfect work, then believers become 'perfect and entire', whole and complete. Rebuilding and Restoring is part of what we do for one another, how we show our love to each other and to Christ. It is part and parcel of the story of redemption. It is about the mission of God to set those who are captive, free.

Love

Representing the love of Christ is one the hardest and best part of serving Jesus. It demands a putting away of the self service and self love that accompanies our humanity and picking up the risky habit of loving others before considering ourselves. I have been reading the book "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan. It is one of those wonderful, horrible, convicting but life changing kinds of books that I wish every believer would read. In it the author challenges the reader to take the love chapter, I Corinthians 13 and substitute our name for love. Example: Cyndi is patient and kind, Cyndi does not envy or boast; she is not arrogant or rude. Cyndi does not insist on her own way; she is not irritable or resentful; she does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. Cyndi bears all things, she believes all things, she hopes all things, she endures all things..... You get it! I feel like such a liar when I read this, but Cyndi is supposed to represent this love of God. It is a high calling and an unnatural one for the natural man cannot work the righteousness of God. It needs to be hard to grasp and we need to be totally dependant on God to climb it. It is seeking His Kingdom before our own pleasure, it is loving humanity with all of its baggage and annoyances. It is the putting on of the character of God Himself and it is NOT optional. So often, as he did with the saints of old, he shows up in our lives, tells us to follow Him, gives us little or no direction, and says "trust me." It is a hard walk, this love and obedience of God. But it is a life of great reward, God has said, both in eternity and "in this life also." God calls us to take the risk of love, of following, of being His representative and pulling men out of darkness and onto the same road of joy that we walk. It is not easy but it is peaceful, it is full of joy. I would rather live my worst day with my Lord, then any other day without Him. He is good, full of mercy and peace and He has given us the body of Christ for encouragement and companionship along the way.

Remember

Sometimes when life is uncertain it is hard to hear His voice. There are days when it seems that it is enough to get through a day. These are the days when I draw from the well I have drunk from the many years before. It is on these days that it is good that I took the time to know the Savior I profess and that He is my dwelling place. It is on these days it is good that I know my family prays for me. It is good on those days to remind myself of those things God has already done in my life. When the Children of Israel had a momentous event that God brought them through they made an altar of remembrance. I have not built those altars of remembrance. I wish I had done so in some way but I do remember His kindnesses to me. I can think back and remember His goodness and mercy and cling to that memory for the present trial. There is no one like our God! He is mighty and His ways are good. God leads us along this journey. He does not take any days off and while He might not have chosen for us some of the paths we end up on, He does not leave us in our mudpiles, but instead picks us up with forgivness and mercy, washes us clean, and leads us to the path that goes home. Praise be to our God!

Restless no more

Do you ever wonder why life here in God's creation is so unsatisfying in itself? Why our plans and pursuits, our dreams and experiences often leave us so empty and tired? I was thinking of the quote by Saint Augustine, "Lord, you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee." We are born with a longing for God. In Psalm 42 the psalmist paints the picture of this longing and passion with the words, "As the deer pants for the water so my soul pants after God." A friend recently asked me what I thought her passion was. She wanted some input from the outside and I was finding it an impossibility to answer. She is artistic so I thought about that. She loves honesty and authenticity. She is fiercely protective of her family. I thought of all these things but realized that they are only parts of her, not the passion of her. You see, there is a passion built into every man, a passion for God. It is the true passion of all mankind and it is our joy and privilege to help people on this journey of life to find that true passion that gives meaning to life. We were born to answer the call of God, to discover the passion that calms our restless hearts and that focuses and directs our days upon the earth. The gifts He gives us become a part of the passion. They are not mere talents to be enjoyed and shared, but gifts to be used with joy for the glory of God. In Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell recognized the pleasure God took in his running and used that running to the glory of God. He did not assume that running was to be his all but he also did not cast it aside as not spiritual enough. And God used that running mightily. Running is not Eric's story, God is Eric's story. You see, we are all called, not to talents, or places, or deeds. We were called to Him. I am called to Him. He is to be my passion. He has called me to Himself and my heart is restless unless it rests in Him. There are days of restlessness that are only calmed by connecting with my Savior, there are times of restlessness that come when I am disobedient and sin. Those times are only helped by repentance and connection with my Savior. There are days when I do not know what He has called me to do. On those days I can remember that He has called me to Himself and find my peace in drawing near. I was born for Him, He is my passion and my calling. Whether you are an artist or teacher or musician or any number of other talents, your passion and calling are the same as mine. You are called to Him who calms the restless soul and gives purpose and direction to each child who draws near to Him. My friends passion is the same as my own for He has called each of us to Himself.

Freedom

You are not where you are or in your circumstances by accident. I can say that with confidence. We are either where God has placed us, which is a good thing. Or, we are in a place we have chosen, not so good. Or, we are in a place chosen by another's selfish choices, not always pleasant but still in God's hands. In any of these situations we can feel bad or good but there is only one place we are free. It is Christ that sets us free. When we are free in Him and commited to following Him then we can be at rest in our circumstances. Even if anothers choices leave us in a perilous place we can be sure that God allowed it and that He has a plan for our good. We can know that if we are commited to Him and find ourselves enduring hardship, that it is for His glory and our good. Freedom leaves us room for joy whatever the circumstance. Freedom trusts in difficulty and rejoices in abundance. Freedom is the only place to live. It is for our freedom that Christ died. It was for our freedom that He sacrificed everything. It is with freedom that we serve God. It is with freedom that we worship our creator. It is with freedom that we draw others to their liberty. I have been set free, regardless of what my circumstances might say! Iwish I always walked in that freedom. Too often I am plagued by fear and doubt. I wonder about the future and agonize over problems I cannot solve. I hesitate instead of putting my total trust in my Savior. I find myself worrying instead of trusting. I am praying for more freedom, to be able to rejoice in every circumstance as Paul did. Until then I wander between trust and trouble, feeling on the verge of unraveling while attempting to move forward on this journey of faith. It is a haphazard journey through a fallen world.