Thoughts on a sick day.

Today I was sick, yucky, icky, sick. This evening I feel better but for most of the day I felt miserable and guilty because nothing on my "to do" list was getting done. At least being on the fast was not a problem as I did not feel like eating much. The truth is, I am getting a better attitude. I am enjoying the feeling of not being excited about the whole food process. It is a good place to just eat because you are hungry, not because it is necessarily something you want. Eating without it being recreational is good for me. I am starting to focus less on what I am giving up and more on the important part of the Fast, drawing near to God. Oh, how I long to change, to be who he wants me to be. I am so well aware that I am not young anymore and that time is something I cannot afford to waste. At times I feel envious of you that are young and I want to beg you to use your life for God, give it all to Him. I am praying that all of us will be set free from the bondages that keep us so tied to this earth. He made us to be "strangers and aliens," to resist putting down roots. When Abram was called it was a calling to a land He knew not, to a place not on a map, called to simply obey, by faith. His calling is ours, we set out, by faith, commiting our life to Christ, not knowing the direction we are going, not knowing the path or even what we are to do. I have an idea for the new year. Let's say yes. Let's embrace ministry opportunities and quit worrying about whether it is the right direction for us or not. Now, I must add a small disclaimer, if after prayer you hear a definite no, then obey that. But, if you are having trouble hearing God's voice and you are wondering what you should be doing with your life, I suggest saying yes. Let's live actively for Christ, actively seeking a new country, the Kingdom of God, bringing as many with us as we can, helping them grow in the grace and mercy of God until we all go to our true home.