Confessions

It ain't easy. Walking in the Spirit that is. The two things in my life that God is showing me more than any others are that I spend too much money and I eat too much food. When I look at those two items I see one root cause and it makes me shudder. Greed. I am greedy for more. I never looked at myself as a materialistic person. In fact, it is not material things that cause me problems in spending money. Most of it is going out to eat. Food is a huge stumbling block for me. But I know that Jesus came to set me free. When I look at the list in 2 Timothy 3 I see some parallels. Food is a picture of how I love my own self more than I love God. It also points to having a form of Godliness but denying its power. I do this when I continue even though I know Jesus can set me free. I am also a lover of pleasure more than a lover of God. Even though I know my overeating displeases Him, I still do it because it is my pleasure. As I have meditated this past week on these verses and tied them into Romans 8 where we are told to walk in the Spirit and not the flesh I have become even more aware of the problem I have than ever. It is not that I didn't know the problem or didn't think it was displeasing to God, but there is something about meditating on verses for time that makes them real and changes one. I have felt warfare this week, as though two opposite forces are competing for me. I guess they always were but I feel like I am jumping into the battle. Will I win? I certainly can. Jesus paid for my victory on the cross. He came to set captives free and I certainly feel captive. Pray for me. I feel unable. I feel unworthy. I must be ready to "be sober in all things, endure hardship,do the work of an evangelist, fullfil my ministry." This battle is mine for the taking and I will battle it with joy and much difficulty but with the knowledge that the Lord is with me. He is good, He who has begun a good work in me will perform it. I believe it, now I need to walk in it. Pray for me.