Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Thoughts on Prayer
I thought I was going to move next week but now I have to wait. How long I don't know. We had found a house we loved and now I'm not sure it will still be available. I was disappointed. Very disappointed. It made me a little crazy in fact. It has taken a few hours to get back to trust. You see, I like to be in control. I never thought I was one of those control people but it turns out I am. I was analyzing my prayers and could see that I really enjoy trying to help God run the universe. I have great ideas about how I think things should go. The bad thing is that I have quit believing in prayer sometimes. I mean, I do believe God does things and that He works through prayer, it's just that I have so often used my prayer life to give God input into how He should run things I have lost the ability to pray in faith. Too often I pray my list and hardly pause to consider what God actually wants me to be praying about in faith and I expect nothing because when I pray in the flesh I don't get much. God is so faithful. He often answers my prayers but I want more. My Pastor challenged me in his sermon this past Sunday to pray in faith, believing, and to see answers to prayer. Do I really let God be in charge and come boldly to Him? I don't know. I went to the prayer room for awhile to sort it out. I told God how tired I was and how so often I feel like I am trying to carry the burdens instead of unload the burdens. I asked Him to show me the difference. I ask Him now to help me understand how to come boldly to the throne of grace and find that help He offers us, and only He can give, in time of need. It may have been a delayed move that prompted me but this need has been here a long time. I need Him. I need His power, His strength, and I need answers to my prayers. I need to quit praying the list and start praying my burdens and my heart. I want to see answers, transformation, miracles, and lots of other little things. I need to grow close to my beloved Savior and be willing to fall upon Him without reserve, without being cautious and doubting. He has given me His word so that I know His will. Do I live as though I trust Him to give me those things that are His will. It is that I am falling short in. It is that which I seek.
Posted by Random Thoughts at 10:57 PM