Wednesday, February 9, 2011

One Day

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ( Rev. 21:4 )I was thinking about this verse while at my desk this morning and a thought occured to me. There are things, events that happen to us, sorrows we experience, sins comitted against us, while we spend our brief stay on earth that are unthinkable. They are the the events that we don't "just get over." The sorrows that haunt us daily and often rob us of our joy. Events that are not forgettable and that the consequences of cannot be erased. While they can be used greatly of God for His good and are allowed by Him for His purposes they still cause us grief throughout our lives. I believe it is these tears that God wipes away from us. These are the sorrows that do not disappear when we enter the presence of God but are ones that He Himself wipes away. These are the hurts that nothing but the touch of God can heal, the pain that only God Himself can erase. If you are carrying the unthinkable in your life know this, there is a day coming when God Himself will wipe that pain, that sorrow, the heaviness that you bear, He will wipe it away. Until then, rejoice in that hope! Know that the God who loves you is both just and merciful and that He will make it right and heal every hurting place.

Monday, February 7, 2011

It was Monday

Today was not my favorite day; it was quite Mondayish. I'm not sure that is a word but I have little doubt that you all can kind of feel what it means. Sometimes stuff just doesn't feel right and all you can do is pray. I am learning that the smallest of things can trigger grief. Like the Super Bowl for instance. I am learning that a house full of females, almost all adults, is both fun and frustrating. I am learning "meaning well" is not enough.  I am learning that my grand hopes of changing anyone, including myself, my family, my small group, so many that I love, and the world, are also frustrating and that I need to get a better grip on what it means to walk in the Spirit because that is the only way transformation is going to come. I loved brainstorming about discipleship this morning. I think I am passionate about it. I am pretty much useless on my own. I am more aware than ever of how deeply I need God and how much I love Him. I am trying to learn that sometimes you have to be patient and pray and then pray some more and again and so on.

This is also the first day of my grand experiment. In an effort to combat my asthma I am going gluten free. There is a lot of evidence that going gluten free is helpful in combatting autoimmune disorders and I want to give it a try. My asthma is not worse or anything but it is annoying and besides, anything that helps me get rid of bread and pasta can't be all bad. When I was in the grocery store this weekend I kindof panicked about it but am feeling like it is doable today. We are aiming to be totally gluten free at home and have a day off once in awhile when we are someones company or are out to dinner. Please pray for me when you think of it. I feel almost hopeless when it comes to diet issues.

"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter." Francis Chan (Crazy Love, great book)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Groundhogs Day

Sometimes at night all I want is for sleep to come. I will stay up until I cannot stay up any longer, or so I think, and then I will go to bed and hope that I will just fall asleep. Today was Groundhogs Day. It was the first date that Bill and I chose to get married on and he always brought me home presents and flowers and a card. I always made sausage because it was ground hog. Sort of a sick thought but it was what I did. Today was my first Groundhog's Day without presents, without a card, without Bill and although we ended up getting married in August it was still like an anniversary for us. Last night I was worried about a lot of things and thinking much about Groundhogs day and how it would be and sleep would not come. Sometimes when that happens I reach my hand up out of the covers and just reach it up to the ceiling praying that God will take my hand and help me sleep. There are more nights now that sleep will come but there are still many nights like last night when I long for sleep and it eludes me; when I wish I could turn off the thoughts that run through my head and when I wish I were so much further along at appropriating the peace of God. Sometimes at night I think I can feel the touch of God when I put my hand up and I know that this small practice helps me fall asleep; I think because when I hold up my hand I am meeting Him. I miss my husband but my God takes such good care of me even in the stuff that seems so very small. I am most grateful.
I've been wading through deep waters
I've been trying to get home
The waves of sin they dash so high, sometimes I think I'm gone
When I think I'm going to sink I hold my hand up high
That great big hand of God comes down and takes ahold of mine.
Thank you Jesus