It has been a long time since I wrote anything here. I kind of wanted to wait until I had something of value to share but I am not sure if that is going to happen any time soon so I will share a few thoughts that have been poking through this head of mine. I am frightfully insecure and hate it. Only I am not so sure how much I hate it. I have been reading Beth Moore's book on insecurity and I am discovering that insecurity is painful but has become far too comfortable. Don't have the answers to that. I guess I will have to pick it up again. I threw it down in frustration at chapter 3!
I missed my flower beds so I planted a bunch of containers. It is amazing what a little beauty does for one. I felt so encouraged just by planing some flowers. It gets me thinking of how much better life could be if we would just "encourage one another." I wonder if I could get by with just kindness for a week. Even hard truths can be told kindly and gently. I suppose I could even use the law of kindness with my family although that is a little harder. I wonder if I could even see what they do right instead of what they do wrong. I think I will try it this week.
Suffering may be normal but I still hate it and I am not so sure I will ever learn to rejoice in it. I have some dear friends going through suffering right now. I know God is good, and just and righteous. I know that God's word tells us this is all normal, but I still hate it and I still feel overwhelmed at times at the pain of it all. I know it will work for our good and I know that whatever we are going through is worth it, but I still struggle with it. Thank you Pastor Sean for encouraging us this morning on the subject of suffering. I felt fresh and ready to take on the struggle of life again. I needed it.
I love my Monday morning Bible Study. Thank you Debbie for leading us. It is wonderful and I am getting so much from it.
I have a long way to go. I am thankful for my precious, faithful, merciful heavenly Father. I am grateful for everyone who puts up with me. I long for heaven but I do love life. I long to see people saved. I long to see the saved empowered and walking in victory. I am thankful for the indwelling Spirit of God. I will walk forward. I am praying that you will too.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I got to see my youngest daughter graduate from Northwest University today. It brought back so many memories of her childhood, of my childhood. I sometimes say that I loved school and hated recess. I thought about how wonderful it was for her to have the opportunity to go to a Christian University and learn and grow and dream. She is a little sad with it being over and of course it is a little hard to switch gears and start a new chapter in life. I thought about how many new chapters in life we make over the years. I went from going to college to marriage, motherhood, teacher of my children. I always kept myself extremely busy; it was like I felt that if I stopped my life would be meaningless. Today I work, and love it; it is only part time although it sometimes seems more than it is. I thought today about what I would tell the students about life. I would tell them that their lives are important; that they have purpose and talents whether they think they do or not. I would encourage them to say yes to opportunities. I always found that I found Gods will in the yesses of life. Sometimes I would be in the middle of something I should have said no to but I don't regret that. I always learned from it. I would tell them to live as though there was almost no time left because there isn't. Now I'm not saying that Jesus is coming back tomorrow, although that would be nice, but there is very little time for those around us who do not believe. We must seek a sense of urgency as we live and that is what I would encourage. I would encourage them to take risks because I wish I had taken more of them. Mostly I would tell them to make God the end all and be all of their existence. Storms are coming; they always do; and God is what makes the storms doable, who is always with me, who rejoices in my joys and comforts me in my sadness. I would tell them that withot my close relationship with God I would not only be lost, I would be very alone. The good news is that I can also speak these things to myself. I can say more yesses, feel a sense of urgency about life, take more risks and cling closer to Jesus. These are timeless truths that can apply to any age. Whoever you are, whatever stage of life you are in, these are truths you can cling to and appropriate in your life. I loved seeing my Karly graduate today. I know God has wonderful plans for her and am excited to see what she does. I know that she loves God and it gives me peace to know she will never be alone during her storms. Graduation is both an event and a transition and God will be with her as she makes her way in this life.
Posted by Random Thoughts at 5:32 PM