Monday, March 5, 2012
I have been a bit distracted lately. New babies will do that to you. But I also got sidetracked and maybe went just a little crazy finding this new little life and the resulting upheaval in our home has just plain worn me out. It was nice today to have an Adventure Monday...not work and not home and not busy. While riding home from Seattle today I got to thinking about how many much stuff you can get wrong nowadays. Like, I don't ever remember to bring my own shopping bags to the store...and I still drink bottled water...and sometimes I will just dump something in the garbage that could be recycled because I am lazy or tired or both. These are important things to some people and I don't want to minimize it. I often feel guilty over my inability to understand what is most important and why it is important. And why should I buy organic food anyway? I sometimes feel that way as a believer in Christ. I spend a lot of time doing stuff at church...many hours planning and preparing the things I do for Christ. But sometimes I struggle wondering if any of it matters...whether it makes a difference or is just me doing stuff. And then when I blow it I wonder if I should even keep going. I deeply desire my life to matter and, for me anyway, the only thing that really matters in helping people find relationship with God and helping them move forward in that relationship. Each day I try to make those around me feel loved and valued... Each day I try and lift up the name of my Savior and make it known. I don't want to reach the end of my days and find out that my motives stunk so bad that it was all about me and not about Jesus. I don't want to find that none of what I did was of any true value. I have to remember that all Jesus wants is me...and He has me...and that is what will matter...to Him and to those around me.