Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Wednesday Thoughts

I am not sure why this week started out with me in such a foul state of mind but I decided that today had to be the end of it. I mean I guess I know why it did but I also know that I gave into the mood far too easily and I need to fight back against it. The problem is that I struggle to resolve things. Which is terrible because I get offended very easily. Thankfully if you offend me you will seldom know it. I won't tell you and I rarely will act the part. I will just hurt deep inside and be convinced that the problem is me (which is a good guess because often it is). I don't know if I am making any sense or not. Needless to say, this week started out with a convergance of badness. It was Father's Day and I missed my dad more than I had allowed myself to in years. I am still struggling with making sense out of my husband's passing. I allowed myself to be worried about all sorts of things that will never happen (most worries, statistically speaking, never do), and I managed to get offended. All of this converged on a Monday along with extreme fatigue. But today I fought back. Thankfully God sent me two of my favorite helpers to work and we played and cleaned out the refrigerators and freezer at work and I remembered that accomplishing a task makes everything feel better and young children bring me joy more than the sunshine. Hopefully...just will last.

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