Thursday, April 15, 2010


"So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength to weep. " 1 Samuel 30:4. David and his men had come back to Ziklag and found that their wives and children had been taken captive. Filled with sorrow and probably with fear they reacted with tears. It was only when they had no more strength to weep that it says that David took comfort in the Lord. It was after the reaction, after the tears. Sometimes I think we feel we have to stifle our reaction to the grief and sorrows of life. We feel we need to be triumphant even in the pain we experience. When we go through our worst we feel like we need to put on a front. But I know that if David, a man after God's own heart, a man of both frailty and strength, wept, and not only wept but wept until he was spent, that it is okay for me not to put on a face or try and be something I'm not. Lately I have been trying to not be quite as dark in my thoughts or in my writing. It is a losing battle. So many that I love are trapped in captivity. Today I was challenged to bring more people to the Lord and I felt this wave of pain come over me. I do not do enough to bring people to Christ. Most weeks I fail to present the gospel clearly. I am grateful that I have opportunity each week to love on and know unbelievers, but I am making so little progress. Tonight I talked to a dear friend who is in deep pain. She does not want to hear about how God loves her, she is beyond weary, she feels disappointed by life and overwhelmed by her life. All I could tell her is that I will not give up on her and that I will be with her through this. What I wanted to do was bring her rest, give her answers, assure her that things will get better but I could not do any of those things. I don't know if things will get better. Earth is such a toss up, and I don't know what her life holds, situationally. I know God loves her. I have seen Him in her life but I don't know how to help her know that. I love her and that is what I can do for her right now. I wish there were more hours to know people, I wish I took hold of every opportunity, I wish I had the eyes and ears of God so I would miss nothing. I wish I understood the reasons for what we go through. One thing I know. If God had not stood with me, I would surely perish, I would be lost and blind, terrified. But God is my fortress, He is my refuge, He has not left me and He speaks to me. I also know that this can be true for all of us. Our circumstances may tell the world that we are not worth effort and are all used up but God does not see us that way. We may walk a path of difficulty and pain but we are not alone, I am not alone, you are not alone. There may be few on earth that understand or know, but our Savior was tempted in every way we are, He was rejected, He was used and left without friends. We can weep over the sorrows and captivity of life but we must trust in the God who saves us to an eternal Kingdom, where weeping will be no more.

No comments: