Fear

I was  reading one of my favorite blogs and it asked the question, "Are you prepared to fail miserably? I started thinking back over my life and how many times I have played it safe instead of being willing to fail. When I was a sophmore in High School I had the opportunity to spend a year in Japan but plagued by fear I backed out. I have wondered often how my life might have been different if I had taken that risk. Another risk I backed away from was going  away to college. You see, I have always been afraid of people and situations that were in the least unfamiliar. As a young wife I made my husband call for any appointment or business problem we might have. I never made a dctor appointment on my own until I got pregnant. I would either have Bill or someother family member do it. Once I even had a co-worker make me a doctor appointment. Thankfully God takes us the way we are and, if we allow Him, He takes us on a journey, stretches us, and makes us new creatures. I barely remember that girl that I was, who did not speak her first year at community college, who refused to have guests into her home, who would not finish her education because it would have required going away. That girl was so afraid of failing and so afraid of rejection and so afraid of people. Being saved is about more than heaven and more than about forgiveness. It is about life. It is about becoming a whole new person. It is about overcoming what holds us back and using the gifts God gives us. Am I still afraid of failure and rejection and people? Of course; I will always be challenged by what held me back so many years ago. But those things that paralyzed me have lost their grip. Thank you God. That fear did not go away. I had to choose to push past it. Am I afraid of failure? Yes, but I am more afraid of missing life; I am more afraid of wasting what God has given me; I am more afraid of not reaching towards the goal God has set for me. Living without fear does not feel so safe anymore. I would rather feel  the fear and go forward and see what God does.