Sunday Thoughts

Today was one of those sermon's that made me squirm. Literally. I wanted to run out, use any excuse to not have to listen anymore. I knew what the topic was going to be and I had a choice. I could have stayed out at the mop's bake sale but I was worried a friend didn't have anyone to sit with and the sale didn't really need two of us during the service so I ducked out. Humility is hard because it is not just about your actions but is also about your motives and even about what you think about. I felt like I was under some sort of test all week. I was sick early on, fought some envy, had to make a difficult decision, alone, wondering if I was making the right one, and then had migraines nearly every day the rest of the week. It was a week I felt very alone which is a trick the enemy often uses with me. In otherwords, I was caught up with me. Humility is difficult to fake. At least it is hard to fake to yourself. I know just how often my thoughts are preoccupied with myself, how easily I am critical of others in order to feel better about my own inadequacies, how easily I can get sucked into feeling sorry for myself, forgetting how much worse it is for many and just how good God is to me. I can't seem to make myself humble or to forcibly throw off pride but I can do those things that can make it possible for God to work His character and attitude in me. I start off every day with the word but I think I need to do better than that. I pray every day, many times a day, but I know I can be more focused and listen much better. I know I can be more careful before I speak and in my actions. The answer is more of Him, less of me. The words of John the Baptist hit home this morning, He must increase in my life. As I empty myself of what is useless and selfish the Spirit of God can fill the empty places.