Thursday, October 8, 2009

Today's Musings

One of the hardest things about living in America is keeping a sense of reality and perspective about my life. I sleep in a home that is kept warm in the winter. I eat every day, in fact I struggle with overeating. I don't ever remember being really hungry, the kind of hunger that loses hope. I have never felt particularly rich, even though I know I am rich compared to most of the world. I choose to look at those who have more and who are not in debt and compare them to me. I don't compare myself to the poorest of the poor. Most of the time I keep myself sufficiently distracted with my own life that I don't see them. About the only time I focus on the poor is during Operation Christmas Child. I am thinking that is pretty wrong. I am thinking that I have more responsibility than that and I am feeling pretty sad. Today I felt this overwhelming grief. We have an offer on our house and are looking forward to being out of debt. I am finding it a struggle to not be enticed by things as I approach having financial freedom. Like those fancy phones you see ads for. But when I think of the monthly cost of maintaining one I wonder how many children that would feed. At least today I did. Most days I don't and I should. I am not suggesting that we go without buying things. But I think that all of our gadgets and all of our things fail to give us any lasting satisfaction. I am not sure how to get to where I should be in the struggle. I want to think about this clearly and rightly and I am not sure what that will look like. I know that part of bringing the gospel is in caring for those who cannot care for themselves. It is in choosing to see life the way it truly is and not just how it is in my surroundings. It is in realizing the deep suffering that exists and not turning my head but instead looking, seeing, and doing. I hope I can hold this thought and find that spot God wants me to be in, where I join in what He wants to do, set the captives free.

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